Belonging by Owen Eastwood
“To feel a sense of belonging is to feel accepted, to feel seen and to feel included by a group of people, believing that we fit in, trusting that we will be protected by them.”
3 Main Messages
The measure of our lives is the impact we have on others
When we feel that we belong we have more energy, focus and creativity
Clarity and alignment within teams is built in the stories we tell around the fire
In recent years many have been talking about the need for psychological safety in our schools and workplaces. There is no question that we are happier and more productive when we feel safe, but what is required from our work in order for us to feel this? I would argue that it is a sense of belonging; of being accepted for who we are, of knowing our place and role in the group and, as Owen Eastwood writes: a feeling of trust and protection.
While the world continues to career towards technological dependency and intelligence, there is a counter yearning - one for deeply held spiritual practices which connect us to the earth and what it means to be human. In this beautiful book, Eastwood digs deep into his Mãori roots and references ancient tribal beliefs, language and traditions from North America, Africa and Polynesia and demonstrates how they are actualised when building successful teams and businesses - our tribes of today.
This book was written after Eastwood successfully applied its principals in multiple settings across the world. Throughout the book he references and draws examples from teams including the All Blacks (rugby), the Proteas (cricket) and The Seattle Seahawks (american football) giving examples of how he has supported them in creating a culture of belonging as a foundation to their success.
Beginning with ‘whakapapa’, the reader is introduced to the idea of us, not as individuals, but as an unbreakable chain of people through history - linking with those who have gone before and those who have yet to come. “When the sun is shining on us, we must be guardians of our tribe and of each other.”
This is an interesting concept - given one current theory that rising rates of childlessness in developed countries might be contributing to a more short term and selfish attitude towards caring for our planet. Certainly in schools and businesses, wakapapa is valid in terms of succession planning and understanding that we are only currently carrying the torch and will, one day, be passing it on to someone else.
Eastwood then goes on to explain the importance of the story of Us: who we are and what we stand for. He explains that this is not about setting a list of rules, but agreed values which all adhere to and which are revisited and re-enforced through storytelling. The heroes of our stories represent the best versions of ourselves. He emphasizes “when our US story is weak, we are weak”. This in itself is a useful tool for school leaders: to work with their teams on their own ‘story of us’ - important values, example stories and connection with the past.
We know that the best form of leadership is ‘locker-room leadership’, when the whole team is so aligned with the agreed vision and values of the team that they hold each other accountable. This means then that the strength of the team is the unity of the team, rather than being dependent on an individual leader. It is this which gives purpose and strong foundations for success.
There are many other valuable lessons and examples in the book which explain the importance of storytelling, agreed values, clear vision, and emphasis on the impact we have on others (Ubuntu) but I would rather you read the book yourself than read my summary. I am currently working in a team where the principles of this book are being practiced and so I can see how incredibly useful this would be in terms of team building and vision setting in a school.
Having been part of many conversations recently about what it means to be human and how to tap into ancient wisdoms, this book was a delight to read. For individuals seeking to feel a sense of belonging as well as leaders who wish to create a strong and successful team, this book demonstrates how to find and how to build your tribe. It is equally as refreshingly new as it is reassuringly old. I would consider it a ‘must-read’.
