Fortitude by Bruce Daisley
“Fortitude is the strength that we draw from feeling in close synchrony with those around us, from feeling part of something meaningful that is bigger than us.”
3 Main Messages:
Those who have experienced adversity are often more driven
We need community to drive us, inspire us and support us
The success of an individual is dependent on the team around them
I was recently asked to present to a group of Headteachers who had read and discussed this book and had found it interesting but a little gloomy. As a result, they wanted some positive, uplifting and joyful ideas from me to build on its messages. Great! I was more than happy to help! I decided that my first job should be to read it and check I was on the right track…
Like so many leadership books, this is a book of two halves. Parts One, ‘Decoding the myths of resilience,’ paints a picture of the struggles of leadership, and it is, on first read, a rather bleak picture. I lost count of the number of times ‘trauma’ was referenced. In explaining what it takes to become an elite athlete, Daisley highlights that those with happy and comfortable lives can lack the drive and motivation to succeed, quoting one researcher as saying “Happy kids don’t make great sports people in my opinion.” Rather, it is suggested, that to be great you need to be “ruthless or selfish.” Not great or recommended traits in a leader!
The second chapter is particularly challenging reading, delving into the worlds of those who have suffered adversity and understanding the impact of childhood trauma. It comes as no surprise that the fuel which often drives huge success comes from a need to be seen and celebrated. Those who did not receive care, attention and love as a child can often be the ones who work hardest to receive these as an adult. Indeed when we look at some of the most acclaimed and accomplished people in our history, they have frequently experienced and overcome challenging childhoods. (Dolly Parton, J.K. Rowling, Arnold Swartzenegger, Mila Kunis and Oprah Winfrey, being a few examples)
However, the next chapter goes on to explain that it is the stories we tell ourselves about our childhoods, rather than the facts themselves, which shape our self-perception and view of the world. And we are usually the heroes in our own stories. Our personal narratives shape who we are and will embed future notions that we are either the victim, the villain or the victor.
The following chapters continue to paint a rather bleak picture by sharing more on the Origins Of Inner Strength, starting by exploring (and questioning) Angela Duckworth’s work on Grit and Carol Dweck’s work on Growth Mindset. Daisley shares the findings of many works of research around resilience and goes on to suggest that the three pillars of ‘fortitude’ are Control, Identity and Community. The reader is introduced to the ‘Spoon Theory’ approach to self-care and, through stories and examples, learns about the impact that a lack of control can have on our mental health.
Part Three however, despite starting with an anecdote from the Twin Towers attack of 2001, becomes a much more affirming and positive read. It shares practical steps we can take to build personal resilience and fortitude, as well as affirming and positive stories for inspiration. Daisley shares the results of numerous studies which have shown that community is incredibly important in preventing PTSD and in bolstering our mental health. He writes that “taking care of your body is important but tending to your relationships is a form of self-care too.” In fact he goes as far as to say that “social connection is everything,” sharing examples of how people have survived and triumphed in the most challenging of circumstances, because of a sense of ‘us.’
The book goes on to share stories and suggestions for how to build cohesive teams, how to support our children in building strong relationships, and how to develop synchronicity, because “when we feel part of a group and in sync with it, we experience a protective glow.” In other words, this is not a book which promises that everything will be okay. It is a book which acknowledges that our world contains much hardship, challenge and pain - however, it gives hope and answers.
The key message repeated throughout Fortitude is that sometimes you have to go through tough times in order to benefit, learn and grow from the experience. This book is a little bit like that. In other words: it’s a heavy read, but it’s worth it!
