Revolution From Within by Gloria Steinem
“I began to understand that self-esteem isn’t everything; it’s just that there’s nothing without it.”
3 Main Messages:
For any of us to thrive we need to feel valued - especially by our parents and teachers when we are children
We should rethink the scales that are used to measure intelligence and worth
Humans are more connected to the earth and its animals than we realise in modern society
Many of the women I work with are incredibly intelligent, well-read, educated, and very experienced professionals and so it always surprises me to discover, once the mask is dropped, how little self-confidence they have. It is my personal observation that many men seem to become more confident and self-assured with age, while many women become less. I wonder if I’m the only person to have observed this trend and what might be behind it?
Gloria Steinem has spent a lifetime building women up and unpicking the systems, presumptions and defaults in our society which accumulate to prevent high self-esteem. She shares brutally honest stories and reflections from her personal experience as well as the experiences of others to demonstrate her points and to share lessons about how to create equality for all.
Revolution From Within starts, as it should, with an exploration of what self-esteem actually is. Dating back as far as the ancient Greeks, ‘oikeiosis’ (self-love, self-acceptance and self-contentedness) was the greatest goal and the root of all things positive. The likes of Plato and Aristotle believed that this central core radiated circles of love: for oneself, then for one’s children, family, all humanity and ultimately the earth itself. Steinem gives personal examples and stories from friends and public figures to explain the necessity of experiencing deep roots and unconditional love in childhood and the possible effects when this is missing.
Steinem also shares a beautiful story about Bill Hall’s school chess group in Spanish Harlem, ‘The Royal Knights’, who flourished from having a teacher believe in them and a community which supported each other. It is a huge responsibility for all teachers to know that: “we become more or less smart depending on our teachers’ vision of us.” She writes of the importance of belonging and being grounded as well as the vital role of parents and teachers in building the confidence of the children in our care.
Perhaps the most powerful chapter is around unlearning what we have taken for granted. Steinem explores the history and implications of craniology, IQ tests and what is considered ‘mainstream.’ She asks questions which evoke deep thinking and re-learning about the assumptions that we make as society and the deeply entrenched systems in place which subdue, control and encourage prejudices against anyone other than middle class, white males.
The book then goes on to explore and explain the importance of following individual passions and using all five of our senses. She shares the history of pagan societies and ancient religions where female deities were worshipped and when women’s connection with the earth was more valued. She unpicks how ideals of beauty and femininity have changed over time, how language restricts us and how much we take for granted, even today.
You are probably familiar with the opening line from Dirty Dancing: “That was the summer of 1963—when everybody called me Baby, and it didn't occur to me to mind.” It just so happened that I read Revolution from Within the same week that I rewatched this classic film from 1987. (I apologise for automatically assuming that you are familiar with it) The film takes on a very different meaning when watched as an adult, with themes of class, race, power, choice, courage and identity. I had not previously noticed that Johnny is the first to use Frances’ real name in his final speech about being brave and this links to the lyrics of the ‘Love is Strange’ scene which denotes a shift in her confidence and the balance of power in their relationship.
As Frances’s (Baby’s) self-esteem builds, we see her true potential and the power she has to truly make a difference and support others. Perhaps, through reading this book, reconsidering our previous assumptions, and exploring how to build both our own self-esteem and self-confidence in others, we can each be a vehicle for positive change. I’m quite sure that this is Steinem’s intention.
