When the Adults Change Everything Changes by Paul Dix
“Schools that believe children should get what they deserve respond to poor behaviour differently to schools that believe children should get what they need”
3 Main Messages:
Consistency of behaviour and expectations of individual teachers and across schools is necessary to create a safe space.
Children respond best to those who show that they genuinely care.
The old methods of punishment are outdated and damaging and we need to build restorative practices instead.
This book opens with commendations and praise and many calling it “a must read” - I have to agree! While behaviour management seems to come naturally to some, there are multitudes of well intentioned, creative and hard working teachers who struggle with this essential part of the teacher toolkit. For those teachers, usually new in their career, this book provides simple and proven methods of managing class and individual behaviour.
That said, there are plenty of incredibly important lessons here for the hardened and experienced teacher too. By unpicking the implications of outdated behaviour management strategies which are still widespread in schools today, Paul Dix points out the damage that we are still inflicting as a profession.
Dix does not give a simple ‘silver’ bullet answer to managing those who are hard to reach. He gives examples and strategies to use, sometimes even suggesting which vocabulary to use in certain scenarios. But the themes are clear: the best teachers care and are consistent.
As a school leader, my mantra used to be that my first job was to make sure all the children were safe, then that they were happy, being kind and had friends, and THEN that they were learning. Children will be learning in an unhappy and unsafe environment - just not the lessons you want them to learn! Dix takes this further: he writes that “the foundation of every school must be excellent behaviour.” Like a former hacker turned FBI agent, he shares hilarious excerpts from his own personal school reports at the end of each chapter: this is a man who has experienced good and bad behaviour management practices as both a child and an adult.
The core message in the book is about belonging. “Children, like adults, want to feel important, valued and like they belong. They crave it.” I am reminded of a wonderful mantra shared by Matthew Savage from The Mona Lisa Effect, who speaks about how important it is for all to “Be seen, be heard, be known, belong.” All adults working in schools have a responsibility to get to know and love their students. Once students feel known and loved then they will flourish. As Dix points out “Damaged children need people, not punishment. It is time that we gave them what they need to succeed, not simply what we feel they deserve”. He goes further, by writing that “Inflicting increasingly severe punishment on vulnerable and damaged children is not just unfair, it is cruel.” Again, I have to agree.
The book is set out in eleven chapters and each covers a different element of managing adult behaviours in order to positively impact and create ripples throughout the classroom and school. These techniques have succeeded in Pupil Referral Units and in schools across the UK. Each of the suggestions made are obvious when described and there are simple steps and checks shared to support in building successful practice.
None of the methods will work in isolation and this is made clear - but when used collectively and consistently they will positively manage, address and change poor behaviour for the better. Dix gives wonderful examples, including promoting ‘fantastic walking’; keystone classroom routines; the benefits of universal microscripts; deliberately showing care; and how to enforce 3 key rules in 30 days.
The sections that every teacher needs to read are around the negative impact of current common practices such as detentions, whole class punishments, team points, names on the board, sitting on the ‘tutting chair’ and high emotional responses to deliberately antagonistic behaviour. He encourages us to realise that emergent poor behaviour is indicative of submerged issues - and that it is these which need to be addressed.
I would highly recommend that this book is shared and discussed amongst entire staff teams so that shifts can be made and the barriers of poor behaviour removed in order to allow enjoyment and learning to take place and for all students to flourish. After all if “a challenging pupil to all who have encountered him” recommends these practices, they will probably work!
