Being 10% Braver
In 2000 I did one of the bravest things I have ever done.
I had booked a holiday in Thailand with a friend who ended up having to pull out for personal reasons. I had two choices: lose my money and miss out on having holiday that year (of course I had no insurance!) or go on my own. I chose the latter. After all, other people travelled on their own, why shouldn’t I?
As the plane came in to land in Bangkok I deeply regretted my choice. I was struggling not to vomit with fear and was mentally calculating how long the 3 books in my backpack would last me. I wished I had stayed at home. Predictably, a mere 2 weeks later, I was on the return flight, incredibly proud of myself for having had the most liberating and fun fortnight of my life so far!
If I hadn’t had the courage to go on that trip, perhaps I wouldn’t have had the courage 2 years later to book a one way trip to Australia - a decision that turned my life around. Then perhaps I wouldn’t have had the courage in 2019 to leave my secure Headteacher position in London and move to Singapore. Perhaps now I wouldn’t have the courage to fly solo all over Asia delivering keynote speeches and training in some of the best international schools in the world.*
The thing is, bravery has nothing to do with not being scared.
Being brave means being scared and doing it anyway.
If we were only 10% more brave, surely we could be incredibly successful. Maybe we could run the world! But what do we consider success to look like? Is it awards? Money? Power? When we look at those who are successful by these measures, the figures are quite incredible:
In 2024 only 52 (10.4%) of Fortune 500 Companies were being run by women. According to the 2024 Forbes Rich List, only 4 of the 40 richest people in the world are female. That’s 10%. And even if they are currently working or were formally working for the company, each of them inherited their wealth from their fathers or former husbands. In 2024, according to the UN, 27 of the 195 in the world were being led by women. Again, this is just under 14%.
It is clear, then, that the majority of top financial and political positions globally are still held by men. But to be fair, would you want to be in these lists? In all honesty, I’m not sure that I would. Wealth and power are important but they are not everything. So what if we considered different measures of success? For example, in the arts, the most downloaded artist of 2024 was Taylor Swift, with 26.6 billion streams.
In sport, it is still most common for men to earn most, indeed all of the 10 highest paid athletes are male and I don’t need to tell you that this is reflected in sports managers and coaches. Yet ‘power and pounds’ are only one way of measuring success. In fact ‘bang and buck’ are surely less important than influence and reputation. Those who shape cultures and foster positive relationships are the unsung (and probably underpaid) heroes and success stories in many teams.
Kath Phipps would be one such person. As the Receptionist at Manchester United for many years, she knew all of the star players, coaches and managers personally. Almost all of them attended her funeral, many left touching tributes and all talked about the lasting impact that she had on individuals and the team itself: “We talk about the Manchester United family; I would say just watch Kath Phipps at work and it all begins to make sense. She was brilliant at her job and brilliant with people.”
And so, when deciding we want to be 10% braver, we need to first decide just what is it that we want to accomplish with our bravery? What is most important to us? What would our individual and unique version of success look like? What would we want to do more of? Less of? What would we say yes to? Once that goal is clear, then there are certainly tools which can help us.
Michelle Obama was invited to President Trump’s 2025 Inauguration. Her office announced “Former First Lady Michelle Obama will not attend the upcoming inauguration,” with no explanation. She was invited; she said no. THAT is bravery.
If you were 10% braver, what would you say no to?
And where do we find the courage? What do we need in order to be 10% braver?
I recently saw 2022 footage of Jamie Lee Curtis being interviewed about the multiple projects she was juggling at the time. She credited this flurry of work to her having recently turned 60 and suddenly realising that she had limited time left and yet still so many ideas and so many things that she wished to accomplish. “If not now then when. If not me, then who?” became her new mantra and the projects began to build up, resulting in some huge commercial and financial success, including winning the Oscar for Best Supporting Actress 2023 for her role in Everything, Everywhere, All At Once.
In her acceptance speech, Jamie said “I know it looks like I am standing here on my own, but I am hundreds of people.” She then went through the lists of people who had worked with her and supported her in getting to this position: her family, her personal team, the rest of the cast and crew etc and finished each section by emotionally exclaiming “WE just won an Oscar.”
No-one achieves something brilliant all by themselves. Every success is built by a tribe of people who support, either financially, emotionally, educationally or physically. It is the same in all professions, including teaching. We all need our tribe in order to succeed. Indeed, the photograph of Jamie Lee Curtis celebrating her co-star Michelle Yeo winning best actress the same evening went viral for demonstrating how much each of us needs a cheerleader and to have a team who will ensure and celebrate us climbing to the top rung.
I believe there are 5 things we can do to ‘build our brave’:
Have a mentor and be a mentor: By understanding our next steps and learning from the experiences of those who have achieved what we are hoping to achieve, then we can learn from their wisdom. In seeing great role models it will help us to believe ‘if they can, then so can I!’
Do your internal work with a coach: Fully understand yourself: your strengths and how to utilise them; your areas of weakness and how to compensate for them; your hopes and your fears. Gain clarity about your values and this will support you in making choices that are right for you.
Build your brave by reading brilliant books and listening to uplifting podcasts: For reviews of some of the books I recommend look here. For podcasts you could start with the Live Brave Podcast, We Can Do Hard Things Podcast or the Mel Robbins Podcast.
Lean on your tribe: friends, colleagues and family who will support and encourage you and be honest with you.
Be a cheerleader, not a judge: All too often we consider someone else’s success an indicator of our own failure, but there is space for more than one at the top of the podium. Sing other people’s praises and they will return the favour. This way we are all promoting positivity!
And remember: If not now then when? If not you then who? After all, other people have done it - why shouldn’t you?
*Author’s unverified and personal opinion!
