“We are living an earned life when the choices, risks, and effort we make in each moment align with an overarching purpose in our lives, regardless of the eventual outcome.”

3 Main Messages:

1. We choose our life daily in the small choices we make that add up

2. Life is about achievement, effort, conduct and attendance

3. Sometimes we are allowed to enjoy eating the marshmallow

“I didn’t share these feelings with anyone on my team; they were frazzled enough as it was. Suck it up, I told myself. Tighten your lace. Cut your rations. Keep moving.”

3 Main Messages:

1. Surround yourself with experts; listen to them respect them, acknowledge, praise and thank them

2. As a leader, you are the target of blame for all that you have inherited as well as for situations forced on you

3. He was always focused on helping the vulnerable and allowing everyone the opportunity for a better life

“It doesn’t need to be the leader who has the ideas or even who sees them. The leader just needs to create a culture where ideas come to life.”

3 Main Messages:

1. Leaders need to be the most flexible member of the team

2. “We don’t need leaders with brains or hearts, we need them with both.”

3. The education system needs to change in order to value leadership skills, problem solving and flexibility instead of focusing on exam results.

“On Sante Fe, doing well on inspections was going to be the natural outcome of being excellent, not the goal”

3 Main Messages:

1. For long term success you have to ignore short term reward systems

2. To build a legacy you need to build a leader-leader culture

3. Control without competence is chaos

“Failure is everywhere. It’s just that most of the time we would rather avoid confronting that fact”

3 Main Messages:

1. Sometimes searching for happiness can make it more elusive

2. We are not our thoughts

3. We cannot control the world or events, only how we respond to them

“Your first and foremost job as a leader is to manage your own energy, and help manage the energy of those around you.”

3 Main Messages:

• FUTURE: You need to articulate a clear vision

• ENGAGE: Build relationships and your team

• DELIVER: You need to manage your 4 energies and be able to have honest conversations

“Becoming original is not the easiest path in the pursuit of happiness, but it leaves us perfectly poised for the happiness of pursuit”

3 Main Messages:

1. A large quantity of ideas creates quality ideas

2. Original ideas need to be sold a certain way

3. We need the right balance of criticism and encouragement

“The prescription for extraordinary results is knowing what matters to you and taking daily doses of actions in alignment with it.”

3 Main Messages:

1. When we try to do everything and please everyone we miss the chance of doing the most important thing to ensure success

2. By prioritising your purpose you will achieve productivity and profitability

3. We can create environments and habits to ensure success

“We offer more consolation by holding a lost hand in a dark place than by shouting instructions from the safety of the light. “

3 Main Messages:

1. Conversations are like a dance where we have to mirror and match each other.

2. Listening provides a space. It is ‘being with’, not ‘doing to’.

3. By asking open questions we can bridge gaps and support people in their understanding.

“The ultimate goal of Radical Candor is to achieve collaboratively what you could never achieve individually, and to do that you need to care about the people you are working with.”

3 Main Messages:

1. It is a leader’s role to give kind, clear and honest feedback.

2. Rockstars and superstars are equally valuable on a team and need to be treated and rewarded differently.

3. Leaders need to show, not tell, and so the first step is asking for feedback. 

“Ideas and products and messages and behaviours spread just like viruses do”

3 Main Messages:

1. There are a few people with significant influence, such as a connector, a maven or a salesman, who are pivotal in causing a trend to tip.

2. Certain messages and language stick better than the rest.

3. Character and behaviour are influenced by context.

“Working with the Enneagram helps people develop the kind of self-knowledge they need to understand who they are and why they see and relate to the world the way they do.”

3 Main Messages:

1. By learning more about ourselves we can make improvements

2. By learning more about others we can understand them better

3. Understanding ourselves and each leads to growth and connection

“Anything that is held only is your head will take up either more or less attention than it deserves”

3 Main Messages:

1. Use your mind to think about things, rather than of them

2. We need to capture, clarify and organise everything in our heads

3. An effective system will increase time efficiency, make you you less stressed and make others trust you more

“These awkward, painful interactions generate the highly cohesive, trusting behaviour necessary for smooth operation.”

3 Main messages:

1. People need to feel psychologically safe in order to perform at their best

2. Leaders need to share vulnerability

3. Successful cultural communities are aligned around a clear and agreed purpose

“Leading is never a solitary act, because everything you do is in relation to other people.”

3 Main Messages:

1. Leaders need to be intentional about their behaviours and lead by example.

2. Be aware of your saboteur voices and their impact on your behaviours and actions.

3. There is great power in pausing

“A deeper understanding of our own humanity comes not from listening to your parents, or your friends, nor to psychologists, neuroscientists, historians, evolutionary biologists, anthropologists, or spiritual teachers. It comes from listening to all of them.”

3 Main Messages:

1. The only thing that matters is having something worth saying

2. Your talk should not be an issue, but an idea

3. The best speakers paint a compelling picture of a possible future

“Evolutionary theory suggests we should embrace all of our emotions, as each has an important role to play under the right circumstances” - Joseph P. Forgas

3 Main Messages:

1. It is crucial that we are able to aptly describe and understand our emotions.

2. Many positive emotions (like empathy) have near enemies (like pity).

3. We were made to make meaningful connections.

“The purpose of school should be to prepare kids for the rest of their lives, but too often what kids need to be prepared for is surviving the school day itself”

3 Main Messages:

1. Our temperament comes from ‘nature’, while our personality is formed by our experiences.

2. We need to build environments where introvert geniuses, leaders and learners can thrive.

3. Some of us are like daisies: we flower everywhere; while others are like orchids: we need special conditions to bloom.

“People knew up front that he was honestly on their side from the start, and that made all the difference.”

3 Main Messages:

1. Give one minute goals

2. Give one minute praisings

3. Give one minute re-directs

“Take the leap; your wings are stronger than you know. Work worth doing is waiting.”

3 Main Messages:

1. Don’t allow your fear to limit your life’s possibilities

2. “You don’t have to be infallible to be fabulous” so accept that it won’t be perfect and take the first step

3. Success comes when we have daily habits and regular rituals and when we plan, collaborate and communicate with others.